Tears of the Angels
by SilverLiningsWeighDownMyCloud
Summary: It's raining, Jade, it's raining. The angels are crying." What if Vicky hadn't saved Jade at the end of the book? Rated T for character death. PROBABLY DISCONTINUED.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Plot bunnies. Many, many plot bunnies trying to get to my keyboard. They come in their thousands, I tell you!!!! Okay, seriously. What if Vicky hadn't saved Jade at the end of the book?

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

_"I run down the road. There's shouting behind me, someone calling my name, but I can't stop. I run and run through the town towards the school, past the gates, along the pavement, slipping on the flowers, kicking toys out of the way, I can hear a car, I run out into the road…_

_A squeal of brakes, a scream, my scream…"_

_Silence._

_But somebody is watching you, Jade, watching you bleed._

_Somebody is crying. It's raining, Jade, it's raining._

_The angels are crying._

_An angel with a shock of red hair is crying the hardest._

_She wanted to save you, Jade, but suddenly she was filled with anger._

_"You didn't save me."_

_She knows you wanted to, but all the same, she knows you didn't._

_"You didn't save me. Why should I save you?"_

_Now she's filled with regret. She should have saved you, but she didn't._

_So, Jade, just lie down for a while and sleep._

_Sleep while the tears of the angels fall on you._

* * *

**A/N:** More to come soon! Please review, because this isn't a very big fandom so I'd like to know somebody is reading this before I update it.


	2. Bleeding

_Playground school bell rings again_

_Rainclouds come to play again_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

_Hello, I'm your mind_

_Giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello_

Jade…

Jade…

JADE…

Jade…

Jade…

_Jade, I'm calling you. Can you hear me? It's Vicky._

_She can't hear me. She can't hear me._

She lies, pale and crumpled, on a bloodstained hospital sheet. They're attaching all these wires to her. They're desperate to do what they can for her, even though it's obvious there's no hope. Her pulse is weakening with every drop of blood that comes from her.

She's bleeding on the inside as well, the doctor says, as the machines around her shriek in a discordant, ominous symphony. They're trying everything. A second ago it was the defibrillator, now it's CPR. They want to put her onto life support, but there must be a life to support if they are to do that. There is no life. It has bled out of her.

One young nurse is crying as a doctor chokes out the time of death. Death. Poor Jade, poor, poor Jade. A young life gone, the second in such a short time. Thunder crashes above the hospital as the red-haired angel rants and raves, screaming in a fit of guilt and anger. In the hospital chapel, a serene angel of stone watches over the girl's parents as they sob. Just like the living, the angels are so different.

Now her parents are walking into the resuscitation room. Spare them this trouble, Lord, don't let them see her like this. Her mother is screaming, fighting to see Jade although people are holding her back. Her father is shaking with his own silent tears, leaning over the girl's broken body. The screaming angel remembers how her parents reacted. The thunder stops as she kneels down and weeps.

One last time, she calls for her friend, but the words echo off the walls of heaven.

Jade…

Jade…

JADE…

Jade…

Jade…

A/N: There, chapter one. It's worth saying that the chapters in this will be quite short, but there will be lots of them. The song at the beginning is "Hello" by Evanescence.


	3. Transience

_Where does the love go, I don't know  
__When it's all said and done  
__How could I be losing you forever  
__After all the time we spent together  
__I've got to know why I had to lose you  
__Now you've just become  
__Like everything I'll never find again  
__At the bottom of the ocean_

* * *

Nobody knows why Jade had to die. Whenever a new person is informed of her tragic passing, the tears start again and Vicky's guilt comes back in all its former strength. The worst moment is the first day back at school. Jade is missing from the classroom. At first, her peers assume that she has been struck with illness. Then, they are called into the school hall for the first assembly of the week.

Usually, this would be a time for the teachers' amusing anecdotes about the weekend, but everyone can tell from the ghostly pallor of the headmaster that something is not quite right. As he walks to the front of the hall, silence falls.

"Well…" says Mr Failsworth. "Well…"

The way in which he stumbles over his words attracts the attention of a few people. He notices the anxiety on their faces, and, regaining his composure as much as possible, carries on.

"I am afraid that – that a second tragedy has taken place over the weekend," he chokes out. "In similar circumstances to poor Victoria Waters' death recently, her friend Jade was killed."

One girl, Madeline, bursts into tears on the spot. Many of the others do not cry, simply showing their shock through their expressions, but the more lachrymose of the pupils join Madeline in her weeping. Mr. Failsworth is forcing back tears himself.

"We shall say a prayer for Jade." His voice falters as he begins the prayer. "Dear Lord…"

Vicky kneels upon a celestial cloud, somewhere high above. She was never a particularly religious girl, but now her lips mouth the words of Mr Failsworth's prayer.

"… Amen. Now, everyone off to their first lesson. Hurry up!"

Nobody notices the evanescent impression of a thin, pale girl seated in one corner of the assembly hall. Her eyes follow the surge of pupils as they continue with their day. Like her, the news of her death seems to have been transient. Either that or they are trying to forget.

Jade was never noticed much anyway. Her attitude to the sudden attention that she gained following Vicky's death was that of a rabbit caught in the headlights. Now, she feels sorrow at everyone seemingly forgetting about her. Although being the topic of all conversation can often feel daunting, the feeling of transparency and insignificance one gains from such a reaction is a far worse feeling.

"I'm one more dead person. Once again overshadowed by Vicky." She knows that this jealousy is awful, but somehow saying it out loud makes her feel better. "Vicky stayed with me for weeks. I just disappear…"

* * *

**A/N:** I finally got to use a word I have been aching to use for ages! (No prize for guessing which one that was! Especially if you've read the last chapter, which I'm guessing you have if you're reading this one) The song this time is "Bottom of the Ocean" by Miley Cyrus. From Evanescence (now you're definitely not getting a prize) to Miley Cyrus… the bizarre and twisted world of my playlist.


	4. Tribute

_Time it was, and what a time it was  
__It was  
__A time of innocence,  
__A time of confidences  
__Long ago it must be  
__I have a photograph  
__Preserve your memories;  
__They're all that's left you_

* * *

By the next day, the site of Jade's death is marked with tributes. Her pile of photographs, teddies, flowers and cards lies beside Vicky's in a haunting reminder of how they once hoped to spend their lives together as the best of friends.

One photograph lies between the two heaps of tributes. It is a small photograph, the ink running from the rain that fell last night. Two girls are on the photograph: one is pale, with light brown hair in a plain cut. She smiles shyly, not looking at the camera. Jade is looking at the girl beside her, a confident redhead with one hand on her hip. The redhead seems to be sticking her tongue out at the camera, a cheeky glint in her large eyes. If you look carefully enough, she is sticking her tongue out at Jade – not with malice, that you can tell by her playful attitude and the way Jade smiles back at her.

Underneath the photograph is a card. It is written in bubbly handwriting, with various circles and hearts above each letter i, the trademark hand of a confident teenage girl. However, the words are not confident and bubbly, rather a tragic plea:

"To my best friend,  
I could have saved you. You didn't save me, and for a while I blamed you for my death. That explains how I acted towards you, I guess. When you ran out at the inquest, I knew it was my fault, but I was too angry to do anything about it. Now I ask one thing of you – your forgiveness. I can apologise better if I see you face to face. I bet I will. You'll be an angel for sure. You deserve it more than I do.  
Lots of love,  
Vicky."

* * *

A/N: A very short chapter, more of a short study than anything, but I'd rather make a lot of impact with 297 words (I counted) than waffle on with five or six hundred words. Thanks to my reviewers, madasmonty and jazzykid1! You guys rock for proving someone's reading this story! The song in this chapter is "Bookends", and it's by Simon and Garfunkel.


	5. Distant

_You look like you're in another world  
__And I can read your mind  
__How can you be so far away  
__Lying by my side?  
__When I go away I miss you  
__And I will be thinking of you  
__Every night and day_

Jade's family had planned for the funeral to be a private affair, but as they knew from horrible experience, things hardly ever go to plan. Mr Failsworth had managed to arrange a day off for Jade's whole class, and now here they all are, sitting in hard wooden pews in a small parish church.

The coffin lies before the altar, draped in yet more floral tributes. Below the heaps of flowers, Jade is lying in a white dress, almost peaceful-looking despite the marks on her broken body. She looks far away, as though she is already in Heaven, although she is still on earth, looking for Vicky. What she doesn't know is that Vicky is beside her body. Nobody can see her, but she is definitely there. She is talking to Jade as the vicar drones on.

"Neither of us got lucky, did we, Jade?" she whispers, even though she knows she is inaudible even to Jade. "Not only did we both die, we get the world's worst sermons as our reward. Ha!"

Almost as if he heard Vicky, the vicar chokes mid-sentence, mutters a hasty "Amen" and steps down from the pulpit. Despite her dejected state, Vicky can't help but laugh.

"Oh God, I thought nobody could hear me!" she giggles. Catching sight of Jade's pale body out of the corner of her eye, she quickly composes herself. "Look, I'm laughing at your funeral. Being a wretched friend again, I guess." She flushes red, both from embarrassment and from the effort to force back tears. "I should go before I ruin the whole proceedings, eh? See you, Jade."

Vicky flaps her pearly wings and swoops off.

After more speeches, and countless tears, the service finally comes to an end. Perhaps finally is not the right word - although it is final for Jade. Nobody wants to admit it, but as the coffin is carried out of the church, they all know it is the last time they will see the strange, quiet girl.

"Goodbye, darling," Jade's mother whispers, laying one hand on the coffin as it passes. "I'll miss you so." She begins to sob again, laying her head on her husband's shoulder.

Jade's parents leave the church first, intending to follow the hearse on its way to the crematorium. However, they are met by a lone reporter, camera and tripod on the ground and notepad in hand.

"Ah! Jade's parents!" he exclaims, rushing forward and shaking hands with each of them in turn. "Hello, I'm Iain Lacey, reporter for the local paper. I was wondering if I could interview you, as we are doing a report on the funeral following your poor daughter's tragic demise…"

"You can do no such thing!" snaps Jade's mother. "Our daughter is about to be cremated! Have you no respect?" She continues to walk away from the church.

"Yes, yes, but we're going to need your opinions…" says Iain, leaving his tripod and running after her.

"Well, in that case, you can't do the report. We didn't give you permission to cover our Jade's death in the first place!"

"We are a newspaper, and we are reporting news!"

"Report this!" Jade's mother slaps the reporter hard around the face, before storming off in the direction of the hearse.

"We're still going to cover the story!"

"I wouldn't try it!" spits Jade's father, facing Iain although he is hardly a menacing figure with his tired eyes and crumpled suit. "We will complain to the editor!"

"You think that's going to stop me?"

Before Jade's parents can react, Iain Lacey snatches up his tripod and leaves the churchyard, while they are left to say their final farewells to their beloved daughter.

**A/N:** A new character! Isn't that exciting? *awkward silence* Yeah, thought not. (Don't ask about the name – just blame my friends for having cool names) Ooh! New format for the "Look what the song was!" section! How thrilling!!! *another awkward silence*

SONG: Promise Me – Beverly Craven


	6. Remember

_I remember the simple things  
__I remember till I cry  
__But the one thing I wish I'd forget  
__The memory I want to forget  
__Is goodbye_

The funeral is followed by a small reception at Jade's house. Her closest friends – as close as you could be without being Vicky – are huddled in one corner of the living room, speaking in hushed tones so as not to disturb the adults.

"Do you think she… you know…" a girl known by Jade as Vicky-Two struggles to find an appropriate end to her sentence. Her voice quietens further. "Topped herself?"

"No, Jade wouldn't do that," argues a large boy named Sam. "I think she was starting to recover."

"Maybe the inquest pushed her over the edge," murmurs Vicky-Two.

"Or maybe she just finally lost it," sighs Jenny, a friend of Madeline and Vicky-Two. "I always thought she was a bit creepy, I told you before."

"She could be really moody, I guess, but she was nice really," replies Madeline.

"Of course she was!" says Sam. "She was always nice to me, at least."

"She called you Fatboy once, and then completely ignored you," Vicky-Two points out. "I don't know what your definition of 'nice' is, but that certainly isn't mine."

"Okay, she could be snappy sometimes," he says. "But she meant well, I'm sure. It couldn't be easy being Vicky's best friend. She was so…"

"Loud? Confident?" suggests Jenny. "Whereas Jade was always the quiet one, just known to most of us as 'Vicky's friend'. As much as I think she was weird, she must have been cool for Vicky to take notice of her. And with the patience of a saint."

"Maybe we should have got to know her more," Vicky-Two says, beginning to sob.

"I agree," said Jenny. "But she was joined at the hip with Vicky, you know? Although when I got to talk to her…"

Jenny sat on one side of Jade in a few lessons – Vicky on the other side, of course. Sometimes they could have quite companionable conversations, although Vicky always butted in. The few times Vicky was off sick, Jenny and Jade could chat like best friends, although Jade would always seem slightly detached from the conversation, as if there was a part missing from her. Vicky.

"If only she hadn't died," wails Madeline. "We could have been nice to her. And to think, we were being horrid to her the day before…"

"But we made up, didn't we?"

"Of course, Vicky, but there's still that memory. She may have still been upset by it when she died."

"We can't think about that," says Sam. "Why can't we just remember the good stuff about Jade and forget the bad things?"

"Because her death is a bad thing, and we can't forget that, can we?"

"I know, Jenny, you don't have to snap at me. What I mean is, she may have upset us sometimes, but why can't we just look on the bright side of things?"

"Is there a bright side to death?"

"Well, she'll be happy, won't she? And she'll be with Vicky."

"I hope she will be happy," says Vicky-Two.

They sit in silence for a few more moments, before standing up and leaving the house. Jade remains on the sofa where she sat with her friends, wiping tears from her eyes as she gazes after them. With everybody mourning her, with her friends and family so empty and sad, with her formerly omnipresent best friend gone without a trace, Jade knows she cannot be happy yet.

**A/N:** Updates may start slowing down a bit now, because rehearsals for my school play are in full swing. Depending on when I have after school practice, you may not get updates as regularly as of late. Sorry!

SONG: Goodbye – Miley Cyrus


	7. Ghost

_The memories ease the pain inside  
__Now I know why  
__All of my memories keep you near  
__In silent moments imagine you here  
__All of my memories keep you near  
__Your silent whispers, silent tears_

Meanwhile, Jade's parents are serving refreshments to the funeral guests, forced smiles on their deathly pale faces. Each time they give someone food, the recipient simply smiles and nods, not wishing to indulge in conversation with the grieving couple. Eventually, this stilted silence becomes too much for Jade's mother. Dropping her plate of cakes noisily on the tiled kitchen floor, she bursts into tears and flees to her bedroom. After staring open-mouthed for a few seconds, Jade's father hurries after his wife.

Jade's parents had never been a particularly close pair, let alone romantic. The strange rift between them had opened further in the last few months, when Jade's mother had an affair with a man at her work. Jade's father had been none the wiser.

"Don't cry, love," he sighs, putting his arm awkwardly around his wife. "We're all missing Jade. We just have to put on a brave face."

"Why should we?"

"Because Jade wouldn't want to see you like this," Jade's father says. He stares across the room. "I'm sure she can see us, you know. It feels like she's never left us."

"But she's gone, isn't she?" howls the pale woman. "She's not here, you know that! She's just… she's just… a memory. Nothing more, and I want her to be more! She's my daughter!"

"She's our daughter. And she is so much more. Maybe she's an angel, right up in heaven."

Jade's mother nods sadly, attempting to stop the flow of tears.

"In heaven. With us, she's gone. Like I said. Just a memory."

"She isn't gone. She's here as we remember her," whispers Jade's father, stroking his wife's hair comfortingly. "We know she's still here. Maybe, when everything is quiet, we could hear her talking to us."

"I do, sometimes."

"Well, then." Jade's father lets his arms drop to his sides. "We can go and be calm and happy, and remember that when everybody else has gone home, Jade will still be here with us."

Jade will still be here with them…

Here…

With them…

Jade waits at the doorway as her mother and father talk. She finds it disturbing that her mother has rendered her daughter nothing more than a memory, not even the ghost she is.

"I'll always be here with you," she says as her parents leave the room. "Don't worry. I'll always be here."

**A/N:** Ha! I defeated the evil writer's block fairy! Thanks to my brand new reviewer who goes by the name of hetty feather or booklover. All reviews are treasured. Seriously. I get hyper off these things.

SONG: Memories – Within Temptation


	8. Calling

_I hear your voice_  
_Through the whistling trees_  
_Love is forever found in that summer breeze_

It is two days later when Jade hears Vicky calling her for the first time.

She drifts through the streets, alone and strangely cold for one not affected by worldly happenings. It is a sunny day, but wind howls through the trees either side of the twisting city roads. A lone sparrow sings mournfully in one tree, a soft lament, piercing Jade's heart with a stab of nostalgia and emotion over the days when she lived.

Allowing transparent tears to make paths down her face, Jade sits on the stone wall of one of the houses. The sparrow flies away, leaving her alone. Alone…

"Jade…"

A passing voice. Jade looks up in shock, expecting to see somebody standing on the pavement opposite her, or perhaps walking past as she sobs. There is nobody there.

"Jade…"

A whisper, carried on the whistle of the wind through the birch trees so brutally cut back so as not to obstruct the street.

"Jade…"

Familiarity. There is something about the voice, Jade thinks, that reminds her painfully of her life. A particular part of her life, although she cannot quite put her finger on it.

"Jade…"

Vicky.

"Vicky!" Jade calls, leaping gracefully off the wall and spinning around to see where her friend is. "Vicky, I can hear you! Vicky!"

The street is silent. Even the wind has stopped howling, and now an unpleasant humidity falls across the summer air.

"Vicky… come back…"

Jade waits five minutes longer, before giving up hope and walking off… home? No, she has no home yet. So Jade keeps walking, a misguided ghost, trying to once again find the voice of her best friend.

"Jade…"

This time, Vicky's voice is strangled, choked by her tears. She sees Jade walking away, and knows that she has wasted her chance to talk to her. Once again, the friends are separated with no hope of reuniting.

**A/N:** I enjoyed writing this chapter! I find it fun to write with a kind of rhythm (although I can't write poems to save my life), and I wanted to experiment with that. I hope it worked!

SONG: Let it Stay – Sandi Thom


	9. Blinded

_I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map_  
_And knew that somehow I could find my way back_  
_Then I heard your heart beating,_  
_You were in the darkness too_  
_So I stayed in the darkness with you_

Jade keeps walking with no obvious direction, blinded by her tears and the bright afternoon sun. One thought runs through her mind:

"Vicky was calling me… Vicky was calling me… Vicky was calling me…"

It is the only thing she hears as she wanders, down one street, round a corner, down another street. She can't see where she is going, but somehow her feet lead her on a specific route towards the sight of her death.

Without warning, Jade's feet stop her. Jade blinks rapidly, wiping the tears from her eyes, and gazes around. The last time she saw this place, there was blood. So much of her own blood. And flowers. There are even more flowers than Jade remembers, separated into two distinct heaps. Moving closer, Jade crouches down and stares at one pile of tributes.

"To Vicky, I will miss you so much," she mouths the words of the small card left by an anonymous pupil. She reads another: "To Vicky, you were a shining light and the world will not be the same without you." Jade looks at the wilted flowers and drooping teddy bears in disgust, and stands up.

"To Vicky, to Vicky!" she yells, suddenly angry. "Why always Vicky?" Realising her horrendous jealousy, Jade's tears return.

Then, she spots the second pile of tributes.

"To Jade," she reads. "You were a brilliant friend and, even though we only knew each other for a short time, I'll remember that time forever. Sam." Her tears now falling thick and fast, Jade reads the other tributes dedicated to her. "Vicky-Two, Madeline, Jenny… oh my God, how could I have been so horrible about Vicky's tributes?"

Deciding to leave the scene before her guilt overwhelms her, Jade stands up. Then, she notices a single tribute left in the middle of the two piles. Filled with curiosity, she kneels back down and picks up a photograph.

"It's me and Vicky…" Jade smiles sadly at the printed Vicky as she picks up the letter. "What… Vicky's handwriting!"

Jade reads Vicky's words of apology over and over again, each time taking in more of the smudged biro writing. It is so strange for her, to see the powerful, oppressive Vicky writing as if she was small and helpless. It is strange, but so beautiful, a letter of sorrow, of pain, and yet words of strength and encouragement to Jade:

"You'll be an angel for sure."

"Oh, Vicky!" exclaims Jade, clutching the letter close to her chest. "I love you so!"

**A/N: **You may have noticed that I've changed the names of all the chapters. That's simply because the names of some of the songs I plan to use don't really work in the context of the story. No updates tomorrow, I'm afraid!

SONG: Cosmic Love – Florence and the Machine


	10. Leaving

_I'll forget the world that I knew  
__But I swear I won't forget you,_  
_Oh if my voice could reach back through the past_  
_I'd whisper in your ear  
__Oh darling I wish you were here_

There comes a time after every person's death, when they know that they will not remain on this solid ground for long. Jade realises as she walks reluctantly away from the tributes by the roadside, that this time is now upon her.

"Say goodbye, Jade," she mutters to herself. "Say goodbye to everybody."

She chooses first to say farewell to her friends. It is a Monday, an almost ordinary school day for them, although it is one they must face knowing that Jade will not be with them.

"But I will be with them! One last time, one last time I'll be with them!"

Jade hurtles back through the street, in a manner that would surely send others flying if she were solid. She rushes through the school gates, through the doors, through a maze of corridors…

And they're here.

Madeline. Jenny. Vicky-Two. Sam. They're walking down the corridor towards her, chatting casually as they head off to their next lesson. They walk past Jade at first; too engrossed in conversation to notice a girl who is simply a shadow, a glimmer of the past waiting for them to remember her. It is then that Jade takes matters into her own hands, swivelling on the spot and running after her old friends.

"It's me! It's me, Jade! Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Madeline? Sam? I'm here!" she cries, catching up with Sam and placing one hand on his shoulder. The boy shivers, as if a cold wind had just passed through him. He turns.

"I suppose you think you're funny!" he yells. He stops. The corridor is empty, apart from… could it be a shadow? A reflection on the glass doors at the end of the hallway? Or a ghost?

"Jade?" he says, his voice little more than a choked whisper.

With these words, the three girls also turn. They too see Jade's transparent presence, and Vicky-Two steps towards her uncertainly.

"Oh my God," she breathes. "Is it a ghost?"

"I don't know!" Jade replies. "I don't know what I am! But I know what I will be…"

"What? You're not making any sense!" Jenny snaps, interrupting Jade.

"I haven't got long. I think I'm finally going!"

"Going where?" asks Madeline.

"I hope it's Heaven. Oh, that sounds so stupid, like it's one of those Victorian books we sometimes studied in English. Look at me, Jade the Almost-Angel."

"I can hardly see you," Sam points out. Despite the near joviality of his comment, his eyes are filling with tears.

"I know. But maybe you will again. But it could be goodbye… I'll miss you!" Jade throws her arms around each of her friends in turn, eventually engulfing them in a group hug that brings shivers down every human spine.

After what seems like forever, the friends break apart, all in tears.

"Goodbye," Jade says for the last time, before turning around and drifting off again. She leaves four sobbing teenagers behind her. But she cannot focus on them now.

"I have to see my parents…"

However, as Jade leaves the school building and hurries off to her old home, she is caught by a strong breeze that throws her off her feet. The trees remain rooted to the ground; the weather vane on a nearby church building remains stationary. This is not an earthly gale.

"No!" Jade gasps, realising what is happening. "I think it's time… I'm going… I have to say goodbye! No!"

But her battle against the gale is in vain. And so, Jade begins her ascent to Heaven, knowing that she may never see her family again. It is a bittersweet end to earthly life.

**A/N:** Yes, SilverLinings is back. *cue epic film music* She has braved rabid sheep, evil ducks, uncooperative canoes and the spiciest Chinese meal known to man, and still returns unharmed to bring another chapter! *music cuts out* Okay, it wasn't that bad. But at least I've finally updated!

SONG: Vanilla Twilight – Owl City


	11. Reunion

_We are just misguided ghosts_  
_Travelling endlessly_  
_The ones we trusted the most_  
_Pushed us far away_  
_And there's no one road_  
_We should not be the same_  
_But I'm just a ghost_

As is the case almost every day since Jade's death, Vicky is crying. She huddles up in the smallest corner she can find, lets her fiery hair fall across her pale face, and cries tears of true agony. It is something the other angels have learnt to live with; all their attempts to comfort Vicky are in vain, so they have given up all hope of consoling her. Vicky prefers it this way. If it became common knowledge that she had failed to rescue her own best friend from death, she would surely become an outcast, the lowest of the low: fallen.

So why is it, she wonders, that I hear footsteps? Why is it somebody is taking my hand? Why do I hear a voice asking if I'm alright?

And then she realises just which voice it is.

"Jade…" Vicky raises her head, allowing her eyes, swollen and red with tears, to meet her friend's.

"Vicky." A faint voice, almost a whisper. A faint voice belonging to a thin girl with a pinched face and mousy hair. A girl with soft, white wings sprouting from her back.

"Jade, I'm so sorry."

Jade isn't listening. Her eyes are lit up with the sheer joy of seeing her best friend, her mouth stretched into an ecstatic smile.

"Vicky, Vicky, I've missed you so much!" with these words, Jade throws her arms around Vicky and envelopes her in a joyful hug. It only takes this for Vicky to forget her sorrow and laugh, a clear, confident laugh that resonates around the skies.

"Oh, Jade!" she cries, drawing back from the hug and looking her friend in the eyes. She suddenly becomes serious again. "Jade, I didn't save you. Why aren't you angry?"

"Don't blame yourself! I didn't save you either," says Jade. "Oh, think if I had! Think how different things would be!"

"Don't, Jade. Please."

"We'd still be together, on Earth…" the smile once again breaks out on Jade's face. "But we're together now! Jade and Vicky, Vicky and Jade! We're still best friends, aren't we? Vicky?"

But Jade's words of comfort have come too late. As she turns around she sees Vicky wandering off aimlessly, still wiping tears of guilt from her eyes.

**A/N:**I have once again defeated the writer's block fairy! So, will Jade and Vicky be able to rebuild their friendship? All will be revealed in future chapters… maybe. XD Oh, and a thought occurred to me recently. Is anybody here actually listening to the songs while they read the chapters? Some of them don't work entirely - some, like Promise Me, have lyrics completely irrelevant to the chapter (apart from the verse I used). Others, like Bottom of the Ocean, have okay lyrics but the actual _music_ doesn't work with the mood of the chapter. So, if you've tried listening and reading at the same time, what did you think? Just out of interest.

SONG: Misguided Ghosts - Paramore


	12. Manipulative

_I sometimes see her down by the river  
__The water dances on her skin  
__She can captivate you with her eyes  
__But she will never let you in  
__And in the dark she lingers  
__Like a tear  
__Without a soul_

"Vicky! Vicky, come back! Vicky!"

Jade runs after her friend, tears now streaming down her own face. How did she upset her like this? Why wasn't Vicky happy to see her? Why was Vicky filled with such guilt, when she taunted and tormented Jade till the very end? So many questions, and the only person who could answer her was running away faster than Jade could catch up.

"Let me guess. Trying to talk about your death?"

Jade gasps, and turns to see another angel behind her. She is quite the stereotypical angel, with the heart-shaped face, golden curls and wide blue eyes that so often adorn Christmas cards and stained glass windows. There is a definite delicacy and kindness to her face – but also a glint in her eye that suggests something hidden, something darker.

"Well… yes. No. Not really. Maybe…" Jade stammers, unnerved by the angel's glinting eyes.

"No wonder she's running. She won't talk to anyone about it. The day she opens up will be the day the Other Place freezes over." The angel points downwards in a knowing manner.

"She doesn't say anything about it?"

"No. You go near her and she just stares at you. You try talking to her about her old life, and she bursts into tears and runs off to somewhere she thinks she can't be found."

"Why won't she talk about it?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's just grieving. You, of all people, should know how hard it is to open up about something like that. Or maybe…" a hint of malice and suspicion flashes across the angel's smooth voice.

"Maybe what?" Jade is starting to challenge the strange angel.

"Maybe," the angel's voice drops to a sinister whisper as she leans towards Jade's ear. "Maybe it was her fault. She might have done this to you, Jade. Maybe your friend Vicky is a murderer."

"Shut up!" yells Jade, taking a sharp step away from the angel. "Vicky is not a murderer!"

The angel smiles.

"Friendship. It's a lovely thing, isn't it?"

Jade stiffens.

"What do you mean?"

"Friendship. Your Vicky could be a murderer. She could be all that's wrong with this world, and you just wouldn't care, because she's always been nice to you… or has she?"

"You shut up…"

"Your friendship with Vicky hasn't all been sunshine and roses, has it? She could be quite… forceful. Quite… manipulative. Cutting? Thoughtless? Think, Jade. She could be quite _evil _when she wanted to be."

"I know my own best friend, thank you very much!"

This time, it is the angel's turn to stiffen.

"Do you? Do you really, Jade?"

"Yes I do! And I know that she's not evil! Unlike _some_ people I could mention!" Jade stares right at the angel.

"I am only trying to save you, Jade. It seems that Vicky's placed such brilliant rose coloured glasses on you that you can't quite take them off yourself."

"I don't need you dictating my friendship with Vicky!" Jade yells. "Who are you, anyway?"

The angel doesn't answer this last question, instead choosing to put in one last remark as Jade runs off.

"Jade. I said little Vicky could be quite cutting. Just don't come crying to me when you need a bandage."

**A/N: **He he, another new character! I don't seem to be capable of creating any nice OCs for this fic. First Iain Lacey (and you'll be seeing more of him soon) and now the Anonymous Angel! I guess mean people are so much more fun to create...

SONG: Lonely Girl – Sandi Thom


	13. Promise

_Why am I so afraid  
__To crash down and lose my heart again?  
I don't know, I can't see  
__What's come over me_

As Jade storms away from the angel, she becomes aware of a cold hand grasping her wrist. She pivots sharply, in a vain effort to pull her hand away. As she turns, she looks up and her eyes meet with a pair of green ones. A pair of green eyes belonging to a girl with a pale face framed by curtains of red.

"Vicky! Oh, did you hear what that horrible angel was saying about you?"

"I did," the eyes start to fill with tears again.

"Oh, Vicky, don't cry again! Over these few weeks, I feel like I've had enough tears to last a lifetime," says Jade, smiling as she lays a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"But Jade, she was right! I am a murderer!" howls Vicky.

"No, you're not. I threw myself in front of…" Jade trails off, suddenly guilt-stricken.

"And I could have saved you! I was following you again, and you were there, and the car was coming… Jade, I'm really sorry!"

"Vicky, you don't need to apologise!" Jade reassures her friend.

"I do!"

"You don't, Vicky. At least we're together, right?"

"Right…" Vicky wipes a final tear from her eye and grabs Jade's wrist again. "Jade, you have to swear not to tell a soul."

"I swear I won't. Why is is so important, by the way? Everybody makes mistakes, Vicky."

"Angels don't. You slip up when you're up here, and you become an outcast. And if you slip up as badly as I did in not helping you, then you become the lowest of the low. You lose your title, Jade. All that talk about fallen angels is as true as anything. That's why you can't tell anybody."

Jade looks her friend firmly in the eye. "As I said Vicky, I won't tell a soul."

"Promise?"

"Promise. No matter what happens between us, I'll never tell anybody anything that could get you into trouble, Vicky…"

**A/N: **Sorry for the lateness... writer's block... by the way, apologies for any messed up formatting there may be on this chapter. Document Manager was being **severely** temperamental.

SONG: Afraid – Vanessa Hudgens


	14. Fiction

_It's a glass cage so I can't pretend  
__You hide beneath the physical  
__I see it coming but I can't defend  
__You cut so deep  
__My belief is gone_

_**"We're still going to cover the story!"**_

_**"I wouldn't try it!" spits Jade's father, facing Iain although he is hardly a menacing figure with his tired eyes and crumpled suit. "We will complain to the editor!"**_

_**"You think that's going to stop me?"**_

"Darling? The paper's here!"

"Why does that affect me?"

"I think you'll want to see this."

Jade's mother hurries downstairs in her nightgown, making a vain attempt to take some of the tangles out of her hair. She picks up the paper, and stares for a second at the front page. Then, her eyes widen and her breathing gets faster and louder. Dropping the paper as if it is red hot, and placing the hand that held it over her open mouth, she begins to scream.

"Sh! Sh!" Jade's father envelopes his wife in an awkward hug, just as he did in the reception after the funeral. "Don't wake the neighbours!"

"The neighbours! Oh, as if I care about the flipping neighbours!" Jade's mother exclaims, slapping her husband's hand away. "Those neighbours who are waking up and plodding downstairs on their stupid lazy feet and sitting at the breakfast table reading these things about our Jade! Don't you talk about the neighbours as if they deserve a blasted sainthood!" She swears loudly, before stamping on the newspaper so hard that her foot rips a hole in the photo of her daughter.

"Calm down…"

"Calm down? _Calm down_?" the woman glares daggers at her husband. "Oh, yes. The world can go about slandering our daughter, but if we all calm down it'll be just fine! What kind of a moron are you?"

"A moron who cares about our daughter," Jade's father replies, carefully avoiding conflict over the obvious insult. "Now, I disagree with this article as much as you do, but anger doesn't solve anything…"

"Don't patronise me! We're going to go down to the editor's office today and we are going to sort this out, and get that Iain Lacey sorted out once and for all! Oh, we should have seen this fiasco coming!"

Before Jade's father can utter a syllable against the notion, his wife has stormed back upstairs to get dressed and ready. Sighing in defeat, he looks sadly down at the paper before trudging upstairs himself.

"TRAGIC DEATH OF SCHOOLGIRL: WAS IT JUST THAT?

"Jade Marshall, 14, was hit by a car in events echoing the death of her friend Victoria Waters, also 14, only a couple of months previously. Jade was showing clear signs of insanity before she was killed: was her death simply a cry for help, for belonging, for happiness, for friendship? We ask, was Jade Marshall's death merely a tragic accident, after all?"

**A/N: **Good heavens, is this a plot I see before me? Surely not! Dear readers, this is where it gets interesting. Hopefully.

SONG: Looking Glass – The Birthday Massacre (weird name, awesome music)


	15. Futile

_Feels like the weight of the world  
Like all my screaming has gone unheard  
And oh, I know you don't believe in me  
Safe in the dark, how can you see?_

Who knew that silence was one of the worst things a person could hear? As Jade's parents sit in two adjacent plastic chairs in the editor's office for the local newspaper, they realise that the silence that envelopes them is creating a feeling of intense unease.

Eventually, the silence is broken. The editor looks up from the crumpled newspaper that has been thrust before him and clears his throat.

"Well… Mr and Mrs Marshall…" he begins, trying to find a way to arrange his words as gently as possible. "You understand we can't withdraw the article now, not when it is already in shops across the town. You do understand that?"

Jade's mother nods, her lips pursed tightly in a fierce effort not to argue.

"That's good. And you do understand that it is our duty to report news, which may include coverage into the inquest of your daughter's death?"

Mrs Marshall, now red in the face from her effort to stay silent, nods once again.

"And you do understand that, while suicide is still a possible verdict in the inquest, we may have to acknowledge this in our coverage?"

This is the final straw for Jade's mother. She stands up, slamming her hands onto the desk, and glares at the editor.

"Our daughter did not commit suicide! How dare you even suggest it? I dare say it wasn't a flipping possible verdict until your moron journalist Lacey decided to stick it in his ridiculous article! How dare you!"

"Darling… calm down…"

She slaps her husband's hand away. "Don't you tell me to calm down! If they decide that our Jade was some insane suicidal freak because of Iain Lacey, then will you be calm? Yes, you get some perspective before you go telling me to calm down!"

"Darling." Mr Marshall's voice is still painfully calm, but firm. "Losing your temper probably won't be best for us, or Jade…"

"Just shut up!" Mrs Marshall screeches. Attempting to rein in her anger, she once again glares at the editor. "Well, I can see we're not going to get anywhere with this today. But if I see another article in your stupid newspaper insulting our lovely daughter, then believe me, there'll be trouble!"

With that, she picks up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder with considerable force, and storms out of the room. Her husband, bright red with embarrassment, looks apologetically at the editor before following his fuming wife out of the offices.

A/N: I know it's a really short chapter this time. *facepalm* Oh well, things will get more interesting in the next chapter. Don't worry! Even though you probably weren't.

SONG: Weight of the World - Evanescence


	16. Fairweather

_The one thing I can count on is nothing much at all  
The one thing that I'm sure about  
Is that you won't be anywhere to catch me when I fall  
I'd like to think I wouldn't die for you but you know I would  
Cause that's the fool I am and that's the rule you bend  
Absent in the end, my fairweather friend_

Slowly, over the weeks following Jade's death, she and Vicky once again forged a firm friendship. For the first time in those weeks, Vicky dared to smile and laugh as she had done before, and even after, her own death. They were truly inseparable, closer friends than they ever had been. True, Vicky still had her tendency to be bossy, and Jade her habit of submissal, but that was how it had always been. Vicky-and-Jade.

But all good things must come to an end. That they know too well.

Jade had soon taken to watching her friends and family from her high vantage point. Every day, she could be found staring down at the lives that continued without her, wondering how much she was missed. On one such day, Vicky takes the rare decision to keep her company.

"Hi there, Jade!"

Jade starts and looks up at her friend. "What… oh, hello, Vicky. Um… do you want to go now? I think I'm finished watching."

"Watching? You're doing that again? How are they? Still mourning over their precious Vicky and beloved Jade?"

"I don't know…" Jade takes Vicky's hand. "Vicky, I think something's wrong. Mum keeps shouting, saying something about a newspaper. Do you think they've done a report about us?"

"You could always eavesdrop," Vicky suggests, sitting down next to her friend.

"It doesn't feel right."

"Come on, they'll never know, will they? They're not going to look up and see us exactly. Stop being such a worryguts, Jade."

It's no use arguing with Vicky. Jade nods slowly and begins to listen to the unfolding argument below her.

_"Calm down? __Calm down__? Oh, yes. The world can go about slandering our daughter, but if we all calm down it'll be just fine! What kind of a moron are you?"_

Jade hears her father mumble something.

_"Don't patronise me! We're going to go down to the editor's office today and we are going to sort this out, and get that Iain Lacey sorted out once and for all! Oh, we should have seen this fiasco coming!"_

"Iain Lacey?"

"You know him, Vicky?"

"He's a reporter for the paper. He was hanging around outside your funeral, trying to interview your parents. He's cooking up some ridiculous story about you commiting suicide."

Jade flushes, not entirely sure of her intentions that terrible day.

"Why are you blushing, Jade? Come on, look at me, Jade. Oh, God, you're not crying, are you?"

Jade wipes her eyes. "What? No, of course not." She looks up at her friend and smiles. "See?"

"Hm… so this suicide tale is a load of old rubbish, then?"

"Of course, Vicky! Don't be stupid!"

"Because you look awfully guilty…"

"… Vicky, not a word of it's true, I swear!"

"… and you didn't look too keen to get out of the road when there was a great huge car speeding up to you, did you?"

"Vicky, stop it!"

"Gosh, did I really have that impression on you? I'm flattered, Jade."

Jade finds herself wondering how this argument came about. Why was Vicky, her supposed friend, suddenly picking on her again? Surely her death wasn't intentional… was it? In this fleeting moment of self-doubt, Vicky once again takes her chance to strike.

"I did think you were going a bit off your rocker…"

"Vicky, you did that to me and you know it!"

"Oh, did I?" yells Vicky, her past anger suddenly returning to her. "I made you crazy? You made me dead, Jade, and frankly that's a bit worse!"

"Vicky, I'm sorry…"

"Save it, Jade! I didn't think you of all people would be the type to do this."

Tears begin to fill Jade's eyes. She stands up, staring speechlessly at her so-called friend for a few moments, before running away.

A/N: Good heavens, it is a plot! I'm sorry if this seems a bit sudden. I've just gotten rid of about five pointless chapters in the process of writing this one. They may get a bit longer now, too.

SONG: My Fairweather Friend – Emilie Autumn


	17. Falling

_I've never felt so alone in my life  
As I drank from the cup that was counting my time  
There's a poison drop in this cup of Man  
To drink it is to follow the left hand path_

It is the angel with golden hair who first notices Jade's tears. A look of genuine concern crossing her usually cold face, she hurries over and touches the girl's shoulder reassuringly.

"Oh, Jade, why didn't you listen? I told you, if you kept putting up with Vicky you'd only get hurt. There, there, stop the tears."

Pulling herself together, Jade glares up at the angel.

"I hate Vicky."

"And it took you this long to realise what she's really like?"

"I should have realised before," Jade says, her voice shaking slightly as it rises in volume. "I know I was meant to forgive her, but it's so hard when you know your best friend just stood by and watched as you got ploughed down by a car!"

As soon as she has spoken, Jade gasps, a hand rushing to her mouth.

"Oh, God, I didn't mean…"

The angel does not – has chosen not to – hear her.

"Oh, really? Is that what happened, then?"

Jade shakes her head in shock.

"You've said it now, Jade. You really have said it now."

Vicky sits next to the spot where Jade was just minutes before, silently fuming. Even though her former friend has left, she carries on watching the scene below her. Jade's parents are leaving the house, her mother clutching a newspaper so tightly it seems it could burst at any second. Her father's face is set in stone, a subtle sign of the fierce anger he has just enough dignity not to let show. In Vicky's opinion, they are fighting a lost cause.

Sighing with exasperation, Vicky leans back until she is lying on the ground. It is of an unknown substance, as soft as cotton wool and pleasantly cool to the touch, but without any apparent colour or form. She lets herself rest for a while, as the sky turns to a beautiful scarlet above her.

Eventually, the blissful silence is broken by the sound of a voice, clear as a bell, calling her name.

"Vicky… Vicky… where are you?"

Her eyes snap open as she wonders who is calling her. Nobody here ever talks to her, except Jade, and this is not Jade's voice.

"Vicky… I'm talking to you. Where are you, Vicky?"

Hesitantly, Vicky gets up and looks around her. Still the voice carries on calling her name, and it begins to get closer.

"Who is it? I'm over here!"

"Ah, there you are! Brilliant!" The voice, though filled with enthusiasm, is somehow cold and dripping with hatred.

Vicky turns on the spot, and jumps upon seeing an angel before her. This one she has never seen before. A tall creature – the face, although obviously there, is somehow impossible to make out – with flowing hair of pure white and wide eyes of a silver hue, flanked by two golden-haired female angels, glides towards her. Vicky stumbles backwards in a mixture of awe and fear.

"Who are you?" she exclaims, pointing at the stunning angel.

"You may never know. But I know who you are, Vicky."

"A murderer," chimes in one of the blonde angels. "A murderer who couldn't even save her own best friend."

"Yes, yes, Vicky's a murderer!" cackles the other, an expression of glee upon her face.

Vicky gasps, still moving slowly backwards.

"Quite right. You know what is said of murder, don't you, Vicky?" says the angel in the centre. "It is a sin. And angels do not sin."

Suddenly, Vicky realises what this may be about. Even though she is relatively new, she has already heard the rumours. The rumours of the Fallen, those who were taken to Heaven in an act of near-inexplicable mercy, only to sin once again and be cast out of the sky. She has heard what has happened, heard of their wings of fire and hair of ashes, heard of the torture they receive. Her already intense fear grows, and she finds herself screaming in horror.

"She's guessed! She's guessed!" the second angel screams manically, her face still frozen in a sickening grin. "Look, Death, she's guessed!"

"Death?"

The Angel of Death gives Vicky a satisfied smile.

"Yes, Death," it replies. It beckons to the angels on either side. "Misery and Fear. It seems you are becoming well acquainted. That's good, because they'll be your only friends before long. Even poor, ignorant Jade has deserted you."

Misery smirks, recalling the anger of the girl who once stood up for Vicky so strongly.

"Ah, she was once so protective of you. It's a pity you didn't deserve it, Vicky. Imagine, you killed her and she stood by you. I suppose we'd all _kill_ for a friend like that."

"Oh, wouldn't we just? Wouldn't we just, Death, we'd all _kill_ for Jade to be with us! Wouldn't we, Vicky?"

"Stop it!" Vicky yells, taking another step away from Death. Her heel slips over the edge, and she lets out a small shriek.

"We're getting closer, Vicky." Without warning, Death is beside her, caressing the girl's cheek with an ice-cold touch. "Closer and closer to the edge. Be careful, you'll _fall_."

Fear looms over her. "Don't _fall_, Vicky! Once you've _fallen_, there's no going back!"

Misery strikes her. "It's so painful, Vicky, losing everything. But oh well, you brought this upon yourself, dear."

The edge of Heaven crumbles under their feet. Vicky's heel slips further, but she manages to keep her balance.

"I wouldn't try that," says Death. "You're bound to let go sooner or later. You'll have to."

"We'll make you!" shrieks Fear.

"It's such a long way down…" Misery's voice echoes within Vicky's own head.

"No…"

"Goodbye!" Fear squeals, waving ominously at Vicky.

"NO!" Vicky stumbles once more and begins to fall. Just as she begins to plummet downwards into darkness, a hand reaches out and supports her.

"I'm so sorry, Vicky." Jade's voice, Jade's hand, Jade's saving grace. Her strong grasp, keeping Vicky from her fate. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

_Let her go._

And Vicky falls.

**A/N: **Wow, I really enjoyed writing that. And it was my longest chapter yet. I don't usually beg, but I'd really like a review as nobody's given me feedback for the last two chapters. Thanks for reading!

SONG: Bless the Child - Nightwish


	18. Rain

_I hear the drizzle of the rain  
Like a memory it falls  
Soft and warm continuing  
Tapping on my roof and walls_

For what seems like hours, Jade stares down at the earth below her, tracing the path of Vicky's fall. Her mouth agape, her eyes brimming with tears, she turns to glare at the three glorious angels behind her, not least at Misery.

"How could you?"

Misery smiles smugly, tossing a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder.

"How could I, Jade? Good heavens, you are one of the most ungrateful people I've ever met. I was trying to save you from her! She let you die, and yet you expect me to keep quiet about it when she could so easily hurt you again? I had to tell Death. Who knows what your precious Vicky would have done next?"

"Yes, who knows?" Fear says, echoing her companion. "She could have done anything, _anything_ to you, Jade. It's not impossible for an angel to die. You realise that _now_, don't you?"

"I realise it because you killed her! Now, leave me alone!" Jade screams, and Death's companions, not expecting this sudden outburst, do as she tells them. Only Death itself remains, standing tall and menacing over the sobbing angel.

"You're regretting your decision now, aren't you?" it whispers, reaching a strangely skeletal hand out towards Jade.

"Of course I am. I don't care if Vicky's a murderer. I don't care what anybody thinks about her, because I care about her. Do you think I'd be able to watch you kill my best friend and be okay with that?"

Death is wrong-footed. In the second it takes for silence to fall, Jade glares at Death one last time before running.

* * *

It is raining hard. The wind howls as raindrops pour out of the sky and smash against the sides of Jade's house. Her parents are at opposite ends of the flat, her father sleeping, her mother staring into space as she does so often now. Jade peers through the window at her mother's defeated form. She sees the tears running down her cold, expressionless face, the excruciating sadness in her eyes.

"Mum, I'm so sorry."

Jade's voice carries further than expected, picked up by the ferocious wind and rushing through the open window. Her mother blinks, before looking up with a small gasp. Her face stays frozen in astonishment for a few seconds, before she shakes her head violently and places her head in her hands, the very figure of fearful denial. Jade is stunned.

"Can you hear me?" she asks, her voice full of confusion and wonder.

She is ignored.

"Mum, say you can hear me."

A pause, carrying the weight of all the sadness in the world.

"Jade?" Her mother's voice falters as she looks towards the window.

Something is looking back at her. It is human in shape, albeit adorned with translucent wings that have the appearance of swansdown. Straight, light-brown hair falls around a pinched face. The angel's body is clothed not in the typical white robe, but in a slightly faded, dark-coloured ensemble: the suit Jade was wearing when she died.

"Oh my God…"

Jade fights back tears at the look of sheer joy on her mother's tear-stained face. She smiles slightly as Mrs Marshall stands up shakily and makes her way towards the window, as one trembling hand presses against the cold glass and the window opens as wide as it can.

The world seems to stop in its tracks as the two pairs of tear-filled eyes meet.

Jade stays floating, watching a look of joy return to her mother's eyes, listening to her scream for Jade's father to come and see the miracle that is apparently taking place right outside their home. For a second, Jade forgets all about Vicky, only acknowledging the way in which her parents rush towards her, take her hands; hold her tight as she launches herself through the window. In this moment, she almost feels human again, an ordinary teenage girl enveloped in her parents' loving arms. The feel of their comforting hugs, which she thought she would never feel again.

"Mum, Dad, I'm so sorry…"

"Jade… it is you, isn't it, Jade?... it wasn't your fault, you couldn't have meant to leave us. Oh my God, I can't believe this…"

"I didn't say goodbye to you! I wanted to say goodbye!"

"Are you going somewhere, Jade? Oh, God, are you going away when we've only just found you?"

She hesitates.

"I'll never leave you." A lie.

Mrs Marshall places her hands on her daughter's shoulders. She is still in shock – who wouldn't be? – but still, she feels that this is the only time she can ask.

"Jade, I've read some very... disturbing things in the newspaper about you."

"What sort of things?" Jade asks, playing dumb in the hope that her parents will not become suspicious.

"Theories. About your death, Jade. Journalists making up all sorts of theories that have no base in fact – or so I should hope… maybe we should just leave it."

Mrs Marshall glares at her husband.

"No! We have to find out now. Don't you think that so many sleepless nights are enough for one lifetime?"

"Jade has only just appeared, and already you're giving her a full scale interrogation?"

Tears well up in Jade's eyes.

"Please… I just wanted you to know I was alright," she sobs, clinging to her parents. "I just wanted to be here, not to be reminded of all of this!"

Mr Marshall nods slowly, stroking Jade's hair. Jade's mother falters slightly.

"Well. Jade…"

"Please, I don't want to talk about it!"

"Just promise me you'll tell the truth, promise me you'll tell us everything exactly how it was…"

Mrs Marshall pauses, as if gathering up the entire world's courage to finish her sentence.

"Just promise us you didn't run in front of that car on purpose."

Silence falls, broken only by Jade's quiet sobbing. It seems to last for an eternity, before Jade looks up, forcing herself away from her father's grasp, and opens her mouth to speak.

"I can't make that promise."

* * *

**A/N:**Right… (and the ellipsis overdose continues… AARGH.) hopefully I should be updating a bit faster now, seeing as this chapter was the source of my biggest writer's block to date. I just thought it was so _clichéd_. But then again, I've said that before about my updating, and _then_ look what happened (COUGH Card to India COUGH).

SONG: Kathy's Song – Simon and Garfunkel.


	19. Broken

_On the list of hearts that have been broken  
It's not hard to find the place that bears my name_

The silence is stifling. Tears are slowly making paths down Mrs Marshall's face, mirroring the look of anguish on Jade's. Mr Marshall has his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with tears he is trying to hide. Even the rain has slowed down, as if to make the quietness inside the room even more unbearable. Everybody wants to speak; they simply fear what they will say in the heat of the emotion that their silence supresses.

It is Jade's mother who finally breaks the silence.

"_How could you?"_

Jade is too shocked to answer.

"How could you do this to us?" her mother continues, not waiting for a reply. "How could you be so selfish, killing yourself without any regard for what we might think of it?"

"I'm sorry," Jade says, her voice so small she is barely audible even to herself.

"There's no point in apologising now, is there? You can't come back, can you?"

In the silence that once again falls like a smothering blanket over the room, Jade realises that this is not so true. She remembers a Religious Education lesson she took once. "Suicide is sin," the teacher had said. "Many organised religions believed so, to the point that many would not hold proper funerals for those who killed themselves. Suicide is sin, and they believed that sin should be punished."

_A sin to be punished._ If letting somebody else die was sin enough to be forced from Heaven – Jade sobbed ineffectually at the thought of Vicky – then what would become of somebody who not only let themselves die, but positively made sure of it? Jade remembers the look of terror on Vicky's face, the smug satisfaction radiating from Death, the feathers slowly rotting into black, charred remains… a fate that could, all too soon, be hers.

"I will come back." Only Jade is aware of the dark second meaning she hides in these words. "I would have always come back…"

"Then why leave in the first place?" her father speaks for the first time. "Why couldn't you stay here, and be with us all the time?"

"Because…"

For what seems like the hundredth time, Jade is absorbed in memories of Vicky's death, the seconds that caused everything to crumble around her, the moments that ruined all hope of a normal life – or even a life at all – without any warning. The argument, the way she pushed Vicky away despite her attempts at apology, the moment Vicky ran into the road, the scream… all of it her fault.

"… Who wants to live with a murderer?"

"_What?"_

"It was my fault that Vicky died. I pushed her away. If I hadn't, she wouldn't have gone into the road, she wouldn't have been hit by the car, she wouldn't have died. I killed her."

"Oh, for God's sake!" screeches Mrs Marshall, startling Jade. "Now you're going to play the blasted sympathy card! You didn't kill her, Jade! She ran in front of that car of her own accord!"

"No, she wouldn't have done if I hadn't been horrible to her-"

"SHUT UP!" This time, Mrs Marshall's outburst shocks her husband as well. "You were just being selfish, as usual! You couldn't bear to live without your Vicky, but you know what? We couldn't bear to live without you either! Did you ever spare a thought about us? No, you didn't!"

"Calm down…"

She swats her husband away. "Are you going to take _her_ side now, then?"

"Of course not! I see as well as you do that she made an extremely bad decision, but can't you see you're scaring her?"

Jade is weeping noisily, her face contorted in fear as she cowers away from her parents.

"I'm really sorry. I really am."

"Sorry isn't good enough, Jade," murmurs her father, quickly withdrawing the hand he was about to use to wipe away her tears. "You've put us through a lot. We've had so many sleepless nights, so much trouble with the press, only to find out that those rumours are true. Have you any idea how that makes us feel?"

"I didn't mean… I didn't think…"

"You didn't think we'd mind? Didn't think we'd be upset? Even now, this doesn't seem real, Jade. I can't believe you've gone – much less that you meant for this to happen. As much as I feel sorry that you were distraught enough to do this, I'm disgusted. Disgusted that you had to end everything this way."

"I knew you'd mind, but I just wasn't thinking. I was so scared, so angry, and I just wanted it to stop-"

"Of course you weren't thinking!" says Mrs Marshall, her voice unnervingly quiet all of a sudden. "You were just absorbed in how scared and angry _you_ were, not even sparing a thought for everyone else."

"If I could go back-"

"You know what? This conversation, it means nothing. You're speaking in clichés. I just want to hear Jade speak. Hear what Jade thinks."

"This is what I think."

"Well, then, you obviously can't mean a word of it."

"No!" Jade wails, her voice frantic. "I mean every word! I really am sorry! I love you both, and I never wanted to hurt you…"

"_Then why did you commit suicide, you stupid girl?_"

"I'm sorry!"

"GET OUT!" Mrs Marshall yells, forcing the window as wide open as it will go. "I don't ever want to see you again!"

"You don't mean that, darling…"

"Of course I do! Get out, Jade, get out!"

Stumbling in her haste, Jade flees towards the open window, not daring to look back at her parents. She flies through the air, swerving precariously; unable to see where she is going for the tears that blind her.

It is only after ten miles of constant flight that she realises her wings are burning.

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**A/N: **My updating is finally speeding up! :D There are only a few more chapters left now (probably about five), plus an epilogue. Reviews appreciated! (That is fast becoming my new catchphrase.)

SONG: Fear of Falling – Katherine Jenkins (I have no idea if it's a cover, considering she usually sings covers, or who sang it originally if it is. That's the version that's on my MP3 player, anyhow. XD)


	20. Realise

_Meeting God we stand in line, not alone  
Nowhere to go  
I'm not leaving, not going  
I'm not kissing you goodbye  
On my own, I'm nothing, just bleeding  
I'm not kissing you goodbye_

She flies. Not knowing where she is going, but rather forced away from the house by the invisible force of hatred, she flies, as ashes fall behind her and the air trembles with the heat of her wings. Her tears fall fast, both from her sadness and from the cold air that hits her eyes like a whip, forcing her to swerve haphazardly between trees, hills, buildings. Jade keeps avoiding the obstacles in her path, not quite sure of the reason why: wouldn't it be better simply to collide, to stop everything in its tracks? She is no longer an angel, no longer immortal. She can die at any time.

And these obstacles keep beckoning, a call for the end of sorrow, the end of pain, a peaceful relief: a call for _nothing_. Right now, Jade is surrounded by _everything_, a rush of emotions, none of them positive. How welcome would _nothing_ be?

"Well done, Jade," whispers Death. "It is a rarity, I think, to meet an angel who admits to her own faults, such faults that would guarantee a very painful… fall. I have to commend you."

"Go away!" Jade sobs, trying to get away; but wings of fire do not carry people at speed. She plummets downwards, filled with terror.

"You can't escape now, Jade," Death says, its calmness taunting her. "I'm right behind you. Always following you, always speaking to you, always speaking to _everybody_. Death is _omnipresent_, Jade. People die _everywhere_. People like you."

"Or Vicky."

Jade turns to face Death, her wings struggling to support her now that she is stationary.

"Or Vicky," Death slowly repeats Jade's words.

"Is Vicky dead yet? Or is she still being tortured by you, just like you're torturing me?"

Silence.

"Tell me!"

"She's alive, in the loosest sense of the word."

"What do you mean?"

"She's alive, just as you are alive. Incapable of feeling any emotion except the deepest sadness, barely able to fly, let alone do that which normal human beings take for granted. When she speaks, her voice is flat; her words have no meaning besides what you find in a dictionary. Her sentences do not come from the heart, but are simply stock phrases."

"_This conversation, it means nothing. You're speaking in clichés."_

"Her heart is dead, both physically and emotionally. That is what happens to the Fallen."

Jade's mouth opens, but she is unable to speak. Realising this weakness, Death continues.

"The Fallen. Sometimes they don't even know it themselves, only letting glimpses of their broken hearts through…"

_"No, you're not. I threw myself in front of…"_

"… and they realise. Just for a split second, they realise what they have become. They realise that they are not angels; they are servants of the Devil himself. It is, perhaps, tragic that they cannot see the fire in their own wings, when others around them cannot help but point it out…"

_"Vicky, I'm sorry…"_

_"Save it, Jade!"_

"… and thank God, the Fallen don't realise. If they did, they would be completely consumed, perhaps too soon for them to recognise their faults. If they realise before they fall, perhaps there is still a chance for redemption. But if not…"

"_Don't fall, Vicky! Once you've fallen, there's no going back!"_

"… then it is only a matter of time. Only a matter of time before they lose all sense of humanity. They do the cruelest things, the Fallen…"

_"I'm so sorry, Vicky." Jade's voice, Jade's hand, Jade's saving grace. Her strong grasp, keeping Vicky from her fate. "I didn't mean for this to happen."_

_Let her go._

_And Vicky falls._

"… and yet they're never aware of the traps they're backing themselves into…"

_"I can't make that promise."_

"… only seeing their own troubles…"

_"You were just being selfish, as usual!"_

"… not possessing the heart or soul to acknowledge the true humans, the ones who do have feelings, emotions…"

_"I didn't mean… I didn't think…"_

"… those who do speak their own words, rather than empty phrases…"

_"Well, then, you obviously can't mean a word of it."_

_"No!" Jade wails, her voice frantic. "I mean every word!"_

"… and it is then that they cannot return."

"_Get out! I don't ever want to see you again!"_

Words, actions, a flurry of thoughts, flying at Jade like a swarm of wasps. No matter how hard she tries to beat them away, tries to avoid the truth that tears at her stone cold heart, she cannot.

She realises.

_It is only after ten miles of constant flight that she realises her wings are burning._

"I was Fallen all along."

Death smirks, hands twitching as if it wants to applaud Jade.

"Congratulations. You've finally realised. God isn't stupid Jade. Rather like me, He is omnipresent. Remember that word? _He is everywhere, all the time, even in your own thoughts._ He knew that you killed yourself, from the very second you ran away from that inquest. You were never an angel, Jade. You were constantly falling. And it looks like you've hit the ground at last."

"Why was I in Heaven? Aren't the Fallen instantly condemned to Hell?"

"Because Vicky was crying for you. God is not just omnipresent, He is _kind_. Kind enough to bring one of the Fallen into Heaven, if it would be enough to cheer a broken heart."

"But if He knew that I killed myself, why did He not know what Vicky had done? Surely she would have Fallen at the very moment I died."

"Because Vicky repented! You should realise that! The very moment you died, she was struck with the most unbelievable grief! It was only when you fought that she ceased to regret letting you die. It was only then that she fell."

"I'm sorry for killing myself!"

"Not sorry enough, it seems."

Death begins to back away from Jade.

"Wait."

Death pauses.

"Yes?"

"Where is Vicky?"

"She's still on Earth, trying to save herself from the inevitable condemnation. Perhaps, for now, she has enough strength left in her to cling onto the edge of humanity. She'll fall eventually, of course. But you, on the other hand… you're weak already. You can barely fly for all the time you've been falling. I'm afraid it's goodbye for you, Jade."

Death reaches again towards Jade, preparing to take her in its cold grasp, but Jade fights back.

"NO!"

"You cannot stop your own death, Jade…"

But there is a glimmer of humanity left in her, the weak glow left from a dying candle. It is enough for her to push Death away.

"I'm not dying yet!"

Vicky is calling her. A seemingly futile cry for help, but one that carries such weight in it.

"I'm not leaving Vicky!"

Death backs away, a look of steely determination in its eyes. While Jade flies off, her wings burning as furiously as ever, it reaches into its black robes, and turns over the hourglass it finds there.

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**A/N: **I hope you liked reading that chapter. I, for one, am absolutely exhausted. XD In my typical manner of shameless begging, please review!

SONG: Kissing You Goodbye – The Used


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